I'll make this short, sweet, and to the point.
If you're either adopted onto my Zombie Apocalypse team or my team crosses your path, and you're just a f*****g useless waste of life and just completely and utterly stupid and braindead with common sense things, I don't care if you're a zombie or not, I'm f*****g ridding the planet of your pathetic existence.
(Yes, this is sprung off of me knowing completely stupid people who are wasting perfectly good acreage in this world. God must've been stoned to s**t when He made you.) -- Now go ahead and come at me, religious freaks.
#PipeBomb
Showing posts with label Cranky Jadd. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Cranky Jadd. Show all posts
Tuesday, October 30, 2012
Senseless things to say
I was just thinking (which is amazing since I'm at the tail end of an 18 1/2 hour shift thanks to that stupid whore Hurricane Sandy), sometimes in life there's stuff you shouldn't say because it's just stupid.
One of those things? "Get some rest."
Oh really? You're granting me the privilege to rest? I can only rest because you told me to get some? No, you know what? Take your f*****g pity rest and shove it up your ass. I think I'll just stay awake for no other reason than make my body flip the f**k out and bash my head against a wall.
Next time someone tells you to get some rest, why don't you just kick them square in the crotch with spiked shoes and tell them to get stitches on their grundle. At least THAT'S a good suggestion.
P.S. If you needed proof that Cranky Jadd is f*****g awesome, here it is. Now go scratch your swamp ass you dirty doucheknuckle.
One of those things? "Get some rest."
Oh really? You're granting me the privilege to rest? I can only rest because you told me to get some? No, you know what? Take your f*****g pity rest and shove it up your ass. I think I'll just stay awake for no other reason than make my body flip the f**k out and bash my head against a wall.
Next time someone tells you to get some rest, why don't you just kick them square in the crotch with spiked shoes and tell them to get stitches on their grundle. At least THAT'S a good suggestion.
P.S. If you needed proof that Cranky Jadd is f*****g awesome, here it is. Now go scratch your swamp ass you dirty doucheknuckle.
Wednesday, September 26, 2012
Pay attention girls
I'm gonna preface this with the fact that I'm cranky as all f*** -- but aside from that point, this s**t NEEDS to be said. Girls, I'm talking to you and only you. Fellas, if you wanna read this and agree with me, feel free...but if you wanna bail out of this entry, now is the time.
You know what really pisses me the hell off? Whiners and complainers (which I get is ironic since this post is pretty much complaining about complainers, but bare with me you 8-eyed, 7-legged jackasses.) It pisses me off when girls complain and bitch about stuff they shouldn't.
Case in point -- I'm pretty much the equivalent of a slut on social media. I mean, if social media was a street corner...talking like the intersection of Facebook Ln and Twitter Pl, I'd be out there with my boobs hanging out prostituting the night away. I'm active on both sites and on Instagram -- and you know what I see ALL the time? Pretty girls calling themselves ugly. Skinny girls calling themselves fat. And it makes me want to pick up a pet rabbit and dropkick it to Kalamazoo.
You know why you sit there alone on Friday and Saturday nights while all your friends go on dates? Because you hate yourself. You know why that chick you make fun of behind her back for being 200 pounds gets more ass than you do? Because she has confidence. No dude is gonna want you if all you do is sit there taking selfies to post on Twitter/Facebook/Instagram and hashtag it with "#ugly" and talk about how you look like s**t when you really don't. Here's an idea -- if you think you're ugly and look like ass, STOP filling up people's feeds with pictures of yourself and whining about how you look. Because newsflash? We don't give a f**k.
It's exactly the reason I get pissed off whenever anyone goes fishing for compliments (which is what you're doing whether you deny it or not). If someone says they're fat and they're CLEARLY not, I automatically agree with them and say they're a tank and channel their inner bulimia. Obviously I'm not promoting eating disorders, but quick being a jackass. If you're all of 100 pounds soaking wet and saying you're fat, you're a douchebag. Same thing with if you're pretty and say you look ugly. Do you know HOW many times in my life I've complimented someone and had them reply with "Oh please I look like s**t." Yeah a**hole, you're right. You look like total f*****g trash, I just gave you a fake compliment so you don't jump off a bridge later on in the day.
Bottom line? Quit being attention-seeking a**holes. No one likes it and no one wants to listen to it nonstop everyday, ESPECIALLY when you're actually better-looking or skinnier than the person you're bitching to. The world doesn't like emo tools, so cut the s**t.
I'm off my soapbox now, you may proceed with your day. Doucheknuckles.
You know what really pisses me the hell off? Whiners and complainers (which I get is ironic since this post is pretty much complaining about complainers, but bare with me you 8-eyed, 7-legged jackasses.) It pisses me off when girls complain and bitch about stuff they shouldn't.
Case in point -- I'm pretty much the equivalent of a slut on social media. I mean, if social media was a street corner...talking like the intersection of Facebook Ln and Twitter Pl, I'd be out there with my boobs hanging out prostituting the night away. I'm active on both sites and on Instagram -- and you know what I see ALL the time? Pretty girls calling themselves ugly. Skinny girls calling themselves fat. And it makes me want to pick up a pet rabbit and dropkick it to Kalamazoo.
You know why you sit there alone on Friday and Saturday nights while all your friends go on dates? Because you hate yourself. You know why that chick you make fun of behind her back for being 200 pounds gets more ass than you do? Because she has confidence. No dude is gonna want you if all you do is sit there taking selfies to post on Twitter/Facebook/Instagram and hashtag it with "#ugly" and talk about how you look like s**t when you really don't. Here's an idea -- if you think you're ugly and look like ass, STOP filling up people's feeds with pictures of yourself and whining about how you look. Because newsflash? We don't give a f**k.
It's exactly the reason I get pissed off whenever anyone goes fishing for compliments (which is what you're doing whether you deny it or not). If someone says they're fat and they're CLEARLY not, I automatically agree with them and say they're a tank and channel their inner bulimia. Obviously I'm not promoting eating disorders, but quick being a jackass. If you're all of 100 pounds soaking wet and saying you're fat, you're a douchebag. Same thing with if you're pretty and say you look ugly. Do you know HOW many times in my life I've complimented someone and had them reply with "Oh please I look like s**t." Yeah a**hole, you're right. You look like total f*****g trash, I just gave you a fake compliment so you don't jump off a bridge later on in the day.
Bottom line? Quit being attention-seeking a**holes. No one likes it and no one wants to listen to it nonstop everyday, ESPECIALLY when you're actually better-looking or skinnier than the person you're bitching to. The world doesn't like emo tools, so cut the s**t.
I'm off my soapbox now, you may proceed with your day. Doucheknuckles.
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