I figured since yesterday's (by the time this gets published, Wednesday's) post about bullying was so intense and honestly a bit emotionally draining to write, I'd geek it up a bit and have some fun with this post. Clearly it's only the beginning of October so Wrestlemania is probably just slightly on the radar of WWE (ya know, since they book RAW only a couple minutes ahead at times), but I thought it'd be neat to armchair/fantasy book the Grandaddy of them all.
WWE Championship -- CM Punk vs The Rock (c)
Follow me with this one. I think if WWE are smart, they'll have Punk hold the title all the way until the Rumble when it's already been announced that the WWE Champion at the time will face The Rock. EVERYONE wants to see a Punk/Rock feud, and even Punk himself said he wants to and can't wait to fight "Dwayne." So how does this match happen? Rock beats Punk at the Rumble to become the new champion. BUT...later on that night, Punk jumps someone from behind (Orton maybe?) and cost someone their spot -- he enters the Rumble in his place and wins it to become the #1 Contender. You can have someone put up a stink or whatever saying that Punk wasn't supposed to be in the match in the first place, bla bla bla, Elimination Chamber PPV you have a match in a chamber to crown the rightful #1 Contender (since I doubt Rock would be at the PPV to defend the title.) Punk wins and moves onto WM to get his rematch and comeuppance.
** For the record, I was originally gonna say have Cena win the Rumble and fight Rock to get his win back, but after thinking about it, I absolutely DO NOT want that to happen. WWE spent ONE FULL YEAR billing this match "ONCE in a lifetime" -- how do you bill something as once in a lifetime and then deliver the SAME main event 2 years in a row? Then again, this IS WWE we're talking about and Vince McMahon is an old crazy bastard.
World Heavyweight Championship -- Dolph Ziggler (c) vs Daniel Bryan
Sadly, the tag team of Daniel Bryan and Kane isn't going to last forever, and that's probably a good thing. Not that I don't think that they have awesome chemistry and are the best thing about WWE right now (aside from Punk/Heyman...and AJ Lee prancing out in business suits made of short shorts), but with the way creative has blown stuff in the past, I would rather not see Team Hell No (SH**TIEST name btw) overstay their welcome. That said, Dolph guaranteed Sheamus on RAW that he was going to walk out of Hell in a Cell as the World Heavyweight Champion. I say do it. Sheamus' reign has been lackluster, and the dude doesn't work as Ginger Cena who goofs around all the time. More on him later. I say you keep the title on Dolph all the way from HIAC to Wrestlemania (partly because long reigns rule, and partly because the dude deserves it for the amount of crap WWE has put him through), and have a now-face Bryan challenge him. I say give Bryan the win here and continue to let his stock rise. Plus seeing a couple Dolph/Bryan rematches is only good for us.
Sheamus vs Ryback
I'll admit, even part of me thinks I'm weird for throwing this match on, but it sorta makes sense I guess if a few things happen. They obviously want to build Ryback up to be a big player. Sheamus is the current World Heavyweight Champion. Frankly, I can't stand Sheamus right now. I loved it when he was just a badass "I'm gonna beat your ass because I can and I love to do it" Irishman -- now he's a pale John Cena. Dude goofs around and is never serious about anything and it's annoying. That's one thing I hate about Sheamus and Cena (as characters....in real life they're pretty badass) -- their characters just come off as so fake. I'm sorry, if you lose a match, you should be pissed, not come out all smiles and say "Oh gee golly darnit I'll get 'em next time. No big deal!" If you're put in a match with a 7 foot giant, you should be focused and serious and trying to get inside his head, not sitting there saying he has B.O. and bad breath. Sorry, rant over. Long story short, Sheamus has some main event status cred, they want Ryback to get up there, what perfect way than putting these 2 in a match together. It'd be a pretty good hard-hitting brawl I think (especially with a heel Sheamus), plus you know Vince would be in guerilla position creaming his man-thong over have 2 jacked up beasts in there. Have Sheamus go over, he and Ryback can feud for a couple more months until Ryback finally wins it and goes on to take Bryan for the WHC (where he busts out a heel turn in the process too.)
Undertaker vs Brock Lesnar -- Guest Referee: Triple H
It makes a whole lot of sense if you think about it. Trips has history with Taker over the last 2 Wrestlemanias (especially the whole "End of an Era" deal where he guaranteed he'd end the streak but came up just short), and clearly has history with Lesnar since Brock beat him at Summerslam and rumor has it he may get his win back around Survivor Series (although I hope if they lock horns again, Lesnar wins a second time), so putting these 3 in the ring just seems like a natural fit. Obviously Taker goes over, but you can keep it in question about how HHH will call it. Lesnar/Heyman can say they're at a disadvantage because Lesnar has owned HHH so calling the match one-way toward Taker will be considered his way of getting revenge, but then you can somehow twist it where HHH says that one line that can be taken multiple ways, and Taker can get in his face and accuse him of thinking about screwing Taker so that technically HHH will still be the one that ends the streak (with his count of 3...smell what I'm cookin?)
World Tag Team Championship -- Rhodes Scholars (c) vs Co-Bro vs Rey/Cara vs Kidd/Gabriel
Rule #1: Turn Kidd and Gabriel heel. Rule #2: Give this match a TON of time. Here's the thing, I watched WWE Main Event last night and during the Santino/Ryder (aka Co-Bro as listed here) vs Kidd/Gabriel match, I thought of a few things. First off, Kidd and Gabriel's music sounds like totally heelish music. Secondly, I actually dug Kidd and Gabriel as heels when Kidd was with The Hart Dynasty and Gabriel was with Nexus and The Corre. I just feel like they'd make a much better heel team and feel like they almost work a heelish match. Anyway, I want this match for a few reasons. First off, I'm loving that tag team wrestling is making a comeback. Secondly, you get 8 guys in this match to get a payday. But basically I think pretty much all of these teams have good chemistry (maybe Co-Bro struggles a bit, but it kinda goes with their characters, plus give them more time and they'll click more I'm sure). Another reason, there's rumors that WWE wants to break the Guinness World Record for total amount of masks worn in an arena, and they're thinking about doing that by giving us a Rey/Cara one-on-one match. I'm really not feeling it to be honest (although it probably WOULD be a good match). I think they're doing great as a tag team, and having them become the Tag Team Champions in this match makes sense to me (plus will free up Cody and Sandow to go for singles gold again).
Divas Championship -- Beth Phoenix (c) vs Natalya vs Kharma
I think I'd pretty much mess my pants over this match. I've hated the Divas division for so long because Vince just picks models off the street and thinks they can become female wrestlers with like a month of training. With word that Sara Del Rey is starting to train the Divas, I feel like stuff could get interesting again, which is why I think Beth will either stay with the company for come back after a short hiatus, and also why I think Kharma could re-sign too. I wanted to see Beth/Kharma ever since Kong signed with WWE, I was super pumped to see a Beth/Natalya match until they storyline F'd it in the face, and I just think a 3-way with these girls (insert joke here) would be mindblowing (insert another joke here). Give Kharma the title here and let her open up cans of whoop ass on everyone.
Brodus Clay vs Tensai
Look, before you give me a ton of s**t, with the way this card is working out (Punk/Rock, Bryan/Dolph, Taker/Brock, AKA a ton of super emotionally-invested, insanely well-wrestled/brawled matches...and that's just so far), we're gonna need a break to breathe/urinate. The Divas match is one of those matches
, and this match can do the same thing. Except, call me crazy, but when they were schedule for a match against each other last week, I was actually intrigued to see them go at it. I think if you gave them time, we could see a pretty smashmouth match between these guys. Since the match on (I think) RAW was only a couple mins, they could afford to blow their load early and go right to a finishing sequence since Big Show was going to do a run-in. I don't care how much you hate on this match, this is my fantasy booking so I'd throw it on there (and I also don't care who wins really, I just want to see a fully worked, time-given match between these two.)
Kane vs Big Show
This is another one of those matches that's gonna calm the crowd down, more or less because Big Show is slower than a one-legged hobbit going uphill backwards covered in molasses. Kane is obviously more mobile and he's been a lot more motivated since back when he was in the 3-way feud with Punk and Bryan, but with all of the stacked matches this card seems to have (not just big names, but also overall emotionally-invested wrestling), a slower-paced match between these two will be a good way to keep the crowd from being super drained super fast. Plus I think Kane might actually be able to pull Big Show to a decent match if he stays as motivated as he's been the last few months. I say let Kane go over because Big Show really has no reason to be winning anything right now since he's on his way out.
United States Championship -- Dean Ambrose (c) vs Antonio Cesaro
Dean Ambrose is awesome from what I've seen of him. So is Cesaro (he's been decent in WWE but he's been incredible in ROH as Claudio...and it looks like WWE is finally letting him start to shine a bit with his style). I feel like these two in a match would be awesome. Right now, Ambrose is on the rise in NXT. I say screw it, bring him up to the main roster a week or two before Mania and put him in a proving ground match with Cesaro or something. Cesaro gets cocky and takes him lightly, Ambrose ends up winning the US Title in his debut match. For people who are AWESOME in the ring, I don't see anything wrong with a quick push right away. Cesaro gets his rematch at Mania, Ambrose retains and Cesaro can get into an upper-card feud to elevate his status on his way to a main eventer.
Intercontinental Championship -- The Miz (c) vs Wade Barrett
For this to work, I think it makes sense to turn Miz face. What makes more sense in turning him face is that Marine 3 is going to be coming out soon (if it's not out already), plus you have him as a commentator on WWE
Main Event and he doesn't really take a face or heel stand (more just analyzes it as a wrestler which is an awesome spin on commentating). Why not turn him full-fledged face...he's been a heel his whole career anyway. Build Barrett up, have him face Miz for the IC title, and win it. They can feud for a couple more PPVs and then move Miz onto an uppercard feud too (hey, maybe even against Cesaro!)
There ya go -- Wrestlemania 29 booked. Thoughts?
